


Operation: Adoption

by myglassesaredirty



Series: Parenting is Hard [3]
Category: Psych
Genre: 1970s, Adoption, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Babies, Comfort/Angst, Dancing, F/M, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fights, Forehead Kisses, Gen, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Neck Kissing, Parenthood, Pre-Canon, Romance, Sexy Times, Sinatra, Slow Dancing, Snow Day, Unplanned Pregnancy, birth mother, breech baby, but not too sexy. no we love Jesus in this house, ch 5 is the moment we've all been waiting for, chick-fil-a is important, delivery, i looked up a ton of pregnancy stuff on my school computer, i promised i wouldn't write smut and i kept to that promise, i think my school administration is. Concerned, independent adoption, pregnancy anst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-09 05:44:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17401124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myglassesaredirty/pseuds/myglassesaredirty
Summary: Madeleine Spencer has never had good luck with pregnancy. She has always wanted children, and she and her husband have been trying for years, but they have yet to have a child. After her third miscarriage, they start seriously considering adoption.Based on the "Shawn Spencer is actually adopted because high school genetics" theory





	1. Bombshell

**Author's Note:**

> I was on Christmas break when I came up with this theory (that's apparently been circulating in the Psych fandom for a while now – who knew?), and it's one of my favorites, so naturally, I just _had_ to write it.

Pain stabs her in the stomach again, and Maddy winces, presses her hand to her stomach, and leans her weight against the countertop. Her fingers curl around the edge of the counter, and she shuts her eyes tightly, hoping that the pain will pass.

 

Henry pokes his head into the kitchen, and, seeing that Maddy’s in pain, he carefully steps inside the room. “Maddy? You alright?”

 

Maddy bites her bottom lip and nods, hoping that Henry won’t press any further. “I’m fine,” she gasps out, and she feels Henry’s hands on her shoulders.

 

“Mad, this is the third time  _ today. _ I think you should see a doctor.”

 

Maddy shakes her head and tightens her fingers that are curled around the edge of the counter. Her knuckles turn white, and she bites her lip again, this time hard enough to draw blood. “I’m  _ fine,” _ she repeats.

 

Henry starts massaging her shoulders, hoping that it will distract her from the pain. “It hasn’t been this bad before, Maddy, and it’s just getting progressively worse. Please just let me take you to a doctor.”

 

“It’s probably just food poisoning,” she says weakly. She knows the excuse isn’t even remotely strong enough for her husband to be satisfied, but it’s the only one she can think of that doesn’t involve a doctor. “Or gas. Or constipation.”

 

“Madeleine Spencer, you know just as well as I do that this has been going on too long for it to be any of those things.”

 

“People can be constipated for a week,” she says. The pain is finally starting to subside, and she opens her eyes. Henry studies her face.

 

“You’re in pain, Maddy. Please see a doctor.”

 

Maddy drags her hands down her face. “Absolutely not, Henry. I’ll be just fine.”

 

Henry shakes his head and steps away from her. “But you’re  _ not _ fine, Maddy! Please, just– I’m trying to help you here, but I’m no doctor! I can’t do anything except take you to one!”

 

“Henry, I told you I’ll be just –” pain stabs her stomach again, and she grimaces, squeezing her eyes shut.

 

“That’s it,” Henry says, crossing the room to grab the truck keys. “I’m taking you to the doctor.”

 

“I’m not going!”

 

Henry clutches the keys in his hands, digging the key into his palm. The key doesn’t break his skin, not yet, but he tries hard not to explode. “What are you so  _ afraid _ of, Maddy? Why are you so scared to go to the doctor?”

 

“I’m not afraid!”

 

“Then just  _ come!” _ He opens his mouth to shout again, but he thinks the better of it and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Maddy, please, just– at least tell me  _ where _ exactly the pain is.”

 

Maddy grits her teeth and gestures to the middle of her stomach. “It’s like…it’s in the middle, but at the same time, it’s not. I can feel it on my left side more than the right, but like…” she specifically points to the left side of her stomach. “It’s not low or high, but yeah. It’s right about here.”

 

Henry nods slowly. “Okay, so it’s not appendicitis.” He licks his lips. “Maddy, please.”

 

“Henry, I’m going to be fine. This will pass soon enough.” She clenches her jaw and rides out the next wave of stabbing pain.

 

Henry shakes his head. “Nope. We’re going to a doctor.”

 

“No, we are not,” Maddy says, pointing her finger at his chest. “Because  _ I _ don’t wanna go, and it’s  _ my  _ body that’s in pain.”

 

Henry closes his eyes, counts to ten, and says, “Maddy, just tell me why you don’t want to go to the doctor.”

 

Maddy bites her lip, shakes her head, and backs up into the island. “Because,” she whispers, “whatever doctor we go and see is going to end up referring us to an OBGYN, and I’m– I’m terrified of what the OBGYN might say.”

 

Henry’s face falls, and he slowly shuffles forward, keeping his eyes on Maddy. “What do you think he’s going to say, hon?”

 

Maddy’s chin wobbles, and she presses her back into the edge of the island. “That maybe I can’t ever actually have kids.”

 

“Maddy – forgive my ignorance – but why do you care so much?” He carefully places his hands on Maddy’s shoulders and gently squeezes her shoulders.

 

Maddy curls her hands into Henry’s shirt and pulls him a little bit closer. “I’ve wanted to be a mom since I was four.” She rests her forehead on his chest. “And we’ve been– we’ve been trying to get pregnant for almost two years, and we’ve had three miscarriages in that time.”

 

“Mad, we talked about adoption.”

 

Maddy sniffles and lifts her head. “I know,” she whispers. “I just thought maybe we’d have one biological kid, too.”

 

Henry kisses her forehead, and she hums, leaning into his touch. “We might, and we might not, but that doesn’t mean we’ll never be parents.” He pulls away and searches her eyes. “You keep having stomach pain, and we need to get that checked out.” He bends his knees so that he’s at eye level. “Maddy, please.”

 

She closes her eyes and shakes her head once. “Fine,” she says. “Fine, let’s go see the doctor.”

 

Henry twirls the keys in his hand, grabs Maddy’s hand, and leads her out the door. “It’ll all be alright, Maddy. Just you see.”

 

**

 

Just as she suspected, the first doctor they saw referred her to an OBGYN. Dr. Cooke ordered a pelvic examination (logically, she knows the doctor isn’t trying to get in her pants or anything, but she still asks that Henry’s in the room for the procedure), and tells her to return about a week later, unless the pain returns.

 

The pain  _ does _ return, and Henry calls Dr. Cooke and describes Maddy’s pain. Dr. Cooke tells them to come back in a couple of days instead of a week.

 

Maddy jiggles her leg up and down, her eyes darting around every inch of the room. There are several posters around the room, all of them centering around something to do with women’s health. She doesn’t really read the posters. She just jiggles her leg some more, making the thin paper underneath her crinkle.

 

Henry rubs his forehead. “Maddy, it’s all going to be  _ fine. _ Stop jiggling your leg.”

 

Maddy curls her hands into fists. “You’re not the one who’s waiting to see what’s wrong with you.”

 

“But you’re my wife. This concerns me, too.”

 

Maddy rolls her eyes. “Are you going to pull the whole ‘we know each other biblically, and we’re technically one flesh’ thing?”

 

Henry grins devilishly. “Well, we  _ do, _ and it’s quite nice, might I add.”

 

Maddy stifles a laugh and turns her eyes away from Henry. “Well, your stomach isn’t the one in pain, and since we’re at an OBGYN, it’s not your uterus, either.”

 

“I don’t have a uterus.”

 

“That’s my point, babe.” She licks her lips and scratches her left earlobe. “So, uh…how’s work?”

 

Henry furrows his eyebrows and looks more closely at Maddy. “How nervous  _ are _ you? I have the day off today, and I gave you all the details of work yesterday.”

 

Maddy hangs her head. “Henry, I already told you why I didn’t want to go to the doctor in the first place.”

 

“And I’ve been worried about you since you started having that pain. I told you: it’ll all turn out okay in the end.”

 

Maddy opens her mouth to respond, fully convinced that everything is  _ not _ going to be okay, but Dr. Cooke knocks on the door and peeks his head in. He steps inside the room and holds up a clipboard. “I have your test results right here.”

 

Maddy inhales shakily and reaches for Henry’s hand. Henry stands up, grabs Maddy’s hand, and gives it a squeeze.

 

Dr. Cooke looks Maddy dead in the eyes, and his tone is solemn. “Mrs. Spencer, you have ovarian cysts. Based on the results from the pelvic exam, you might have an ovarian torsion, but I think it’s more likely that you have endometriosis.”

 

Maddy gulps, licks her lips, and tightens her grip on Henry’s hand. “What does endometriosis mean?”

 

Dr. Cooke sighs. “It’s a condition that causes your uterine endometrial cells to grow outside of your uterus.”

 

Henry rubs Maddy’s back with his free hand and studies the doctor.

 

Maddy leans back, knowing that Henry will still support her. “And what does that mean? How do we treat that?”

 

The doctor sighs again and pinches the bridge of his nose. “You have two options: hormone therapy and surgery, but neither are guarantees to keep endometriosis away. It might return, even after surgery.”

 

Henry moves his hand and squeezes Maddy’s shoulder. Maddy reaches up and brushes her fingers against his. “If we’re trying to get pregnant, which option would be better?” he asks. Maddy glances at him and mouths her thanks.

 

Dr. Cooke winces. “For most women, I would recommend the surgery if they’re trying to get pregnant, but Mrs. Spencer, I know you have had trouble with pregnancy.”

 

“But can’t you just remove the outside uterine endometrial growths?”

 

Dr. Cooke shakes his head. “It’s not as simple as that, Mr. Spencer. First, we’d have to remove the cysts, and I have a feeling that she has more ovarian cysts that could become a problem. I would like to do an ultrasound and confirm what I think.”

 

Henry shakes his head once. “I don’t understand. We can’t afford an ultrasound. Wasn’t the pelvic exam enough?”

 

Dr. Cooke sets his clipboard down. “I can’t confirm this without a better visual, but I believe that your wife also has narrow fallopian tubes. Even though surgery would help with endometriosis, the only thing we can do about the fallopian tubes is remove them to help prevent difficult pregnancies, but both of Madeleine’s fallopian tubes are narrow, which causes very difficult pregnancies. Removing both of them would make her unable to conceive in the future.”

 

Maddy’s bottom lip trembles, and she squeezes both of Henry’s hands. “What are you saying, Doctor?”

 

Dr. Cooke licks his lips. “What I’m saying, Mrs. Spencer, is that you are unable to carry a pregnancy to term.” He nods slowly, and his face is grave. “I’m truly sorry.”

 

Henry wraps his arm around Maddy’s shoulders and pulls her into his side. Maddy presses her lips together, and her eyes well up with tears, but she will  _ not _ cry in front of the doctor. “I can never have kids?” she asks him, her voice trembling. Henry turns his face to kiss the top of her head.

 

Dr. Cooke nods again. “That’s what I’m saying, Mrs. Spencer. You may be able to conceive, but you won’t be able to actually carry the pregnancy to term.”

 

Maddy turns her face into Henry’s chest. She can’t face the doctor anymore. He just shattered her world.

 

Henry rubs Maddy’s arm. “Doctor, can we arrange the date for surgery later? I don’t think now is exactly a good time.”

 

Dr. Cooke nods. “Certainly.” He turns to leave, winces, and turns around again. “I hate to push you two out of here, but I’m running a bit behind schedule, and we need this room.”

 

Henry nods, though internally, he’s pissed that the doctor has the gall to ask. “Of course, Doc.” He gently nudges Maddy. “Honey, we need to go. We can talk about this later.”

 

Maddy nods and stands with him, following him to the secretary’s desk. She doesn’t have the words to speak, and she just stares straight in front of her. Henry squeezes her hand intermittently, and she squeezes back, but inside, she’s shaking and weeping.

 

_ I can’t have children. I can never carry a pregnancy to term. _

 

She thinks she could deal with being infertile. That would be better, at least. To know beforehand that she can’t even conceive, so that she doesn’t face the repeated heartbreak of a miscarriage. She remembers that pain, that heartbreak every time she learned that the baby she and Henry were so excited to meet would never be born.

 

During the car ride home, Henry tries to make conversation, purposefully directing the conversation away from the bombshell the doctor just dropped on them, but Maddy doesn’t respond. She just props her elbow on the door and stares out the window at the passing world.

 

Henry rests his wrist on the steering wheel, and he’s shocked by how much gray is in the world outside. The road he drives on is gray, all the pedestrians wear some sort of gray, the bark on the trees is gray, and everything he can possibly see is gray. The world looks bleaker than normal.

 

If he feels this terribly about the news, and he’s the one who never  _ could _ have kids in the first place, due to biological reasons, how much more is Maddy hurting? How much more is this killing her?  _ His _ chest feels tight, and  _ his _ heart breaks every time he replays the conversation at the doctor’s office. Pain runs through every inch of his body, coursing through his bloodstream. Tears prick at his eyes, but it’s not his place to cry. It’s his place to be strong in this situation.

 

He pulls into their driveway, shuts off the engine, and stares at their big, empty house. There’s nothing for them in there. There’s no one to fill the empty rooms in the house, and it’s starting to become lonely with just the two of them.

 

“Maddy,” he sighs, rubbing his forehead. “We should get inside.”

 

She nods silently, opens the passenger door, and steps outside, walking into the house as if she’s on autopilot. Henry follows her inside, tosses the truck keys into their little key dish, and sits next to her after she flops down on the couch.

 

Maddy stares at the fireplace for a moment, and then the dam finally breaks. A sob tears from her throat, and she buries her face in her hands, bending over to rest her forearms on her thighs. “Oh, God,” she sobs.

 

Henry clenches his jaw, but the sight of his wife in so much pain and the fact that they can’t have children is far too much for him to bear. He covers his mouth with his left hand and bites back a sob. Maddy sniffles, straightens, and turns to Henry, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I told you,” she says. “I told you I didn’t want to see the doctor, and I told you why.” She shakes her head and rests her head on his shoulder. “W-we can’t have children.”

 

Henry wipes his cheeks and wraps his arm around Maddy’s shoulders, pulling her closer to him. He kisses her forehead, kisses her cheeks, trying to kiss away the tears, but there are too many and he can’t even stop his own…how can he expect himself to stop hers?

 

“We’ll get past this,” he says. “It sucks, and it hurts, but we’ll get past this.”

 

Maddy shakes her head and buries her face into Henry’s shirt. “How can you know that?”

 

Henry closes his eyes and pulls Maddy even closer to him, as if that was even possible. “I have to believe it, Maddy. I have to believe it. Because if I don’t, then the pain is going to eat me alive.”


	2. Reaching, Reaching, Hoping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to talk sometimes. Maybe it's a bad day, or maybe, you just got the bad news that something you've been wanting your entire life is now completely out of reach.

Ever since the medical bombshell, the house has gotten more quiet. Both Maddy and Henry pour more time into their work, returning home late at night only to eat, rest, and clean up. They hardly talk anymore, except for “pass the salt,” or “are you almost finished in the shower?”

 

Yesterday, Herb took one glance at them both, shook his head, and demanded that both of them take today off and figure out what was wrong. He would keep giving them leave until they resolved whatever conflict was going on.

 

At the kitchen table, Maddy spins a pencil around in her hands, absently staring at the sudoku puzzle in front of her. Henry has the daily crossword puzzle, but he can’t focus on that, and instead, he takes to memorizing Maddy.

 

Her blonde hair is far more unkempt than normal. It looks like she hardly brushed it this morning, unlike the usual 100 brushes on each side that she does most other mornings. Her eyes are red and bloodshot, and the bags under her eyes are so dark they almost look like bruises. Her face, while normally pale, is whiter than normal. She looks ill, and Henry can’t help but blame himself for it.

 

Henry sighs, stands up, and opens the cabinet door. He finds the pancake griddle, takes it out, and sets it on the counter before he goes searching for the stuff to make pancake batter. Maddy looks up at the noise, sniffles, rubs her nose, and asks hoarsely, “What are you doing?”

 

Henry shrugs, pulls out the ingredients and a mixing bowl, and stares at the bowl for a moment. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m making you pancakes.”

 

“But why?”

 

“Because,” Henry says, carefully scooping the flour out of the container, “it’s 8 am, and all you’ve eaten thus far are a few blueberries. You need a bigger breakfast than that.”

 

Maddy twists a strand of her hair around her finger. “You haven’t made me breakfast for the past couple of weeks, Henry. Not since we went to the doctor.”

 

Henry adds baking soda, salt, and sugar to the dry mix. “Well, I’m an idiot sometimes.” He scoffs and shakes his head. “Actually, scratch that. I’m an idiot quite frequently, but most especially these last couple of weeks.” He looks up and locks eyes with Maddy. “I really am sorry, Maddy. For making you go to the doctor.”

 

Maddy waves a hand. “You were worried, Henry. I would have done the same for you if the situation were reversed.” For the first time in two weeks, she grins, her blue eyes twinkling in the sunlight. “I mean, for something different, of course. You can never have an OBGYN.”

 

Henry shakes his head and chuckles. “Do you want blueberries in your pancakes?”

 

Maddy purses her lips and shakes her head. “I’m fine, Henry. Regular pancakes are fine.”

 

Henry scoffs again. “Come now, Maddy. I know you hate plain pancakes. This is your meal. Strawberries, blueberries, chocolate chips, pineapple. Anything you want.” He glances at the refrigerator. “Well, as long as we have it.”

 

Maddy laughs softly. “Chocolate chip pancakes sound amazing, Henry. Thank you.”

 

Henry bows. “As you wish.” He backs up, opens another cabinet, and pulls out the chocolate chips. He melts butter, cracks an egg into the mixing bowl, and pours the milk into the bowl before he stirs it all together until it resembles pancake batter. He scoops the batter onto the hot griddle and sprinkles chocolate chips onto the pancakes.

 

Maddy rests her arms on the back of the chair, rests her chin against her hands, and watches Henry intently. “You know, I’ve never actually seen you make pancakes. I’ve only ever woken up to them.”

 

Henry shrugs, theatrically drops another chocolate chip in the dead center of the top left pancake, and glances at her over his shoulder. “Well, now you get to watch the master at work.”

 

“Just like how you’re a self-proclaimed grill master?”

 

He points the spatula at her. “I  _ am _ great at grilling steaks, and you know it.”

 

“As far as homemade steaks go, yours are really good.” She straightens and points her finger at him. “But that doesn’t mean you’re a grill  _ master.” _

 

“Sure it does!”

 

Maddy shakes her head and laughs. “Of course it does.” She stands up, walks over to Henry, and wraps her arms around his middle as he keeps working on the pancakes. She presses her cheek against his back and breathes in the scent of his shirt. He smells like rain, sea salt, and wood.

 

Henry flips the pancakes and covers her hands with his free hand. He wants to make some sort of joke because he spent two weeks not even seeing Maddy smile and now she is, but now just isn’t the time. “I love you so much, sweetheart.”

 

Maddy nods, the movement of her head (and by default, her cheek) causing Henry’s shirt to wrinkle and straighten, wrinkle and straighten. “I know.” She hugs him tighter, though not tightly enough to hurt him, and says, “I love you more than anything.”

 

Henry reaches up into the cabinets one last time, grabs two plates, and starts loading the golden-brown pancakes onto them. “You know we’re going to have to talk about that doctor’s appointment and everything that that entails.”

 

Maddy nods again. “I know,” she whispers.

 

Henry scoops another pancake onto his spatula and holds it there. The pancake balances precariously on the spatula. “Is this a three-pancake or a four-pancake discussion?”

 

Maddy lifts her head and rests her chin on Henry’s shoulder, mentally counting how many pancakes he made. “Four-pancaker for sure, but I don’t want to make you have less.”

 

Henry drops the pancake onto Maddy’s plate (now filled with four pancakes) and shovels the other two onto his own. “Maddy, you should know by now that I make up for fewer pancakes with both syrup  _ and _ whipped cream.”

 

Maddy huffs out a laugh and shakes her head. “You’re sure you’re alright with it?”

 

“Two pancakes is great, Maddy. Any more than that, and I’m going to get a sugar rush.”

 

Maddy shrugs, grabs the plate Henry passes to her, and reluctantly makes her way back to the kitchen table. She misses the close contact she and Henry just had, but he’s right: they need to talk about this.

 

Henry sets down his plate and slowly sits down. “So where do we start?” he begins, staring at his plate of pancakes.

 

Maddy pours syrup over her pancakes and passes the bottle to Henry. “Let’s start with whether or not I should have surgery or hormone therapy.”

 

Henry stabs his fork into his pancakes, having nearly drowned them in syrup. “I called up one of my friends in medical school – Jacob, you remember him – and asked which was a better option. He said surgery is more effective, but both will work.”

 

Maddy nods slowly and twirls her fork. “Then I guess it’s surgery.”

 

Henry reaches over and squeezes her hand. “We can call about a date for the surgery later, but we really need to talk about the whole ‘not being able to have kids’ issue.”

 

Maddy sighs and stares at her pancakes. “Let me get through one and a half, and then we’ll talk about that.”

 

Henry raises an eyebrow. “If you’d prefer to get through two and a half first, then I can wait.”

 

Maddy smiles at him. “I love you.”

 

He shrugs. “I know.” He watches as she shovels the pancakes into her mouth, and she may be tiny, but the woman  _ eats. _ Within two minutes, she’s finished her first pancake and is halfway through her second. Henry just props his chin in his hand and watches her, wondering how in the world a person can be so beautiful while practically inhaling food. He’s not even that attractive when he cleans up nice, and yet…

 

After another two minutes, Maddy sets down her fork and looks Henry square in the eyes. “I want a baby.”

 

Henry sighs. “I know that, sweetheart, but it’s unlikely that you can carry a pregnancy to –”

 

Maddy holds up a hand, causing Henry to trail off. “No,” she says, shaking her head. “It’s been difficult for me to deal with, but I know that I can’t give birth. It’s not fair to either of us to keep trying and keep facing that heartbreak. But I do want a  _ baby. _ ”

 

Henry nods slowly, trying to piece together what Maddy’s saying. “I’m sorry, I’m still conf–”

 

Maddy rolls her eyes, groans, and leans back in her chair. “We have two options, Henry: surrogate or adoption.”

 

Henry searches her eyes. “Both are expensive.”

 

“And we both work.”

 

“You’re also still in school.”

 

Maddy quirks her eyebrow. “Henry, those are our only options left. If we try again, we  _ might _ get pregnant, but then we face the –” she looks down at her plate, grabs her fork again, and breathes in shakily “–the possibility – no, scratch that, the  _ probability _ – of another miscarriage.” She looks back up at him with teary eyes. “Do you want that?”

 

Henry shakes his head and takes her hand. “No. No, no, no. I just –” he sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “My dad raised me to be way too frugal with money. I forget that we  _ can _ afford at least adoption.” He searches her eyes. “I would love a biological child, but surrogacy is way too expensive. We don’t have that kind of money.”

 

Maddy nods. “So, are we going to adopt?”

 

Henry smiles softly and rubs her hand. “Yeah, sweetheart. We’re going to adopt a baby.”

 

She pulls her hands away from his own and places hers on his face. “We’re going to have a baby!”

 

“We’re going to have a baby!” he repeats, leaning forward to kiss her.

 

God, he missed kissing her.

 

**

 

Out of all the days in the year, Maddy is generally fine for 362 of them. She has her bad moments, and she’s not above admitting that she has bad days. However, even on her bad days, there’s usually  _ one _ good thing that happened that makes her day not terrible, where she can say that it was alright. Not good, certainly, but not terrible.

 

However, there are three days every year that are always going to be terrible.

 

Those three days are the anniversaries of the day she found out about each miscarriage.

 

February 19 is the worst of them all because that was her very first miscarriage, and she and Henry had already started building the nursery when she started having stomach pain and then she found out about the miscarriage on the same day. They never dismantled the nursery; they just closed the door.

 

Thankfully, it’s her day off of both school and work. No particular reason for work, though – if she pressed Herb enough – the chief would probably admit to knowing the reason behind the awful date. As for school, it snowed for the first time in Santa Barbara for as long as even Henry can remember.

 

So school is cancelled, and she’s left alone with her thoughts. Thankfully, the television still works, and she turns it on for the white noise. Every couple of hours, she stands up and paces, and finally, she makes her way to the kitchen, deciding that cookies are the best way to get her mind working on something other than the absolute heartache.

 

Henry comes home early, carrying a bag of Chick-fil-A and a lemonade. “Babe?” he calls, carefully stepping into the kitchen. He can smell the cookies, and when he walks into the kitchen, he sees the cookies on a cookie sheet but no Madeleine. “Maddy? Honey, where are you?”

 

“Here.” Her voice is weak and barely carries from the living room to the kitchen.

 

Henry takes the bag of Chick-fil-A and the lemonade and tentatively steps into the living room. Maddy has her face buried in her hands. “Sweetie?” he says, holding out the food like a peace offering. “I brought you your comfort food.”

 

Maddy looks up, gingerly takes the Chick-fil-A, and opens the bag. “Thanks,” she whispers, passing Henry one of the Chick-fil-A sandwiches. “How was work today?”

 

Henry warms his hands on the sandwich wrapper for a moment and then pulls it out of the wrapper. “Fairly boring, actually. I got saddled with petty crime again, but then again, so did most of the station. Only a couple of detectives got to go out. I think the weather is diverting crime.”

 

Maddy takes a huge bite out of her sandwich. “That’s good.”

 

Henry wraps one arm around Maddy’s shoulders. “How are you doing today?”

 

“Absolutely terrible.”

 

“You baked cookies.”

 

“I know.” She looks at him with wide, clear eyes. “You know I bake when I’m stressed.”

 

Henry chews the sandwich, staring ahead at the television. There’s a football game on. “You hate football,” he notes absently.

 

“I needed the white noise,” she responds.

 

Most days, they can talk. Most days, they sit on the couch and laugh until their stomachs hurt, until both of their faces are red from a lack of air. Even when they’re making out (listen, they’re in their early twenties, they’re young and married, and  _ technically, _ they’re still trying for a baby. It’s allowed, okay?), Henry will stop every couple of minutes to tell Maddy how much he loves her, how beautiful she is, how brilliant and marvelous and amazing she is. She’ll do the same for him.

 

The point is, they talk a lot for a man who doesn’t like to talk and for a woman who is paid to listen to others. They love to talk to each other, but there are always three days every year where talking is hard, and they have no idea how to start.

 

Henry finishes his sandwich and fishes out the fries. He chews them slowly and offers a few to Maddy. She takes a couple, dips them in ketchup, and eats them absently, her eyes trained on the television. He glances at her half-eaten sandwich, the hardly-sipped lemonade, and the box of fries that’s still full. His eyes scan her face, and she rubs her thumb across her bottom lip.

 

It’s five o’clock pm, and tomorrow, they’ll be fine, and tomorrow will be a good day, but today is going to suck. Henry doesn’t want to suffer another seven hours of this. He scans the room, trying to find a worthy distraction, and his eyes zoom in on the record player.

 

He gets up without warning, and Maddy notices the missing contact, and her eyes follow his movement. He grabs his favorite Sinatra album, slides the record out of the case, and drops the needle. Music fills the air, and Henry slowly walks over to Madeleine, offers her his hand, and pulls her to a standing position.

 

“Henry,” Maddy says. “I’m not in the mood to dance today.”

 

Henry nods and pulls her closer, grasping her left hand in his right as he places his left hand on her back. “I know.” He rests his chin on her shoulder. “But we’re not dancing. We’re swaying.”

 

Maddy sighs and moves along with him. He doesn’t dance – not exactly, and especially not for what the music of Frank Sinatra demands – but he does move away from the TV and the coffee table. “If that’s all we’re doing.” She rests her cheek on his shoulder and breathes him in again. This time, he smells like snow, dust, and Chick-fil-A.

 

“Is 20 Questions on the table?” Henry asks her, his voice innocently soft. He laces his fingers in hers.

 

“Is the silence killing you that badly?”

 

Henry pulls away, holding her out at arm’s length, and she whimpers when his shoulder is no longer underneath her cheek. He searches her eyes. “Isn’t it killing you?”

 

Maddy averts her eyes and nods slowly.

 

Henry pulls her back to him, and she immediately replaces her cheek where it belongs. “So, first off…” Henry licks his lips and looks up at the ceiling fan, trying to come up with the best possible question.

 

Maddy shakes her head. “No, that’s not how it works. I think of something – a person, an animal, or a book – and you only have twenty questions to guess what I’m thinking of.”

 

He spins them around, praying that Maddy won’t get upset. She moves along with him, and when he glances down at her, he notices a smile on her face. “Do you have something?”

 

“I’ve got it.”

 

“Is it a person?”

 

Maddy nods. “Yes. It’s a person.”

 

“Male or female?”

 

“Male.”

 

“Is he your amazing and super handsome husband?”

 

Maddy rolls her eyes. “No.”

 

“Next question: a–”

 

“This is your fourth, by the way.”

 

Henry kisses her forehead. “Next question,” he repeats. “Am I not the greatest kisser of all time?”

 

Maddy barely lifts her head, her cheek hovering over Henry’s shoulder, and purses her lips. “Hmm,” she says, eyes twinkling in the dim light the living room offers. “I can’t remember.” She grins mischievously. “But kiss me and I’ll tell you.”

 

Henry smiles, schools his face into a poker expression, and lowers his head to kiss Maddy. His hand still holds hers, and they sway with the music. Sinatra’s “It Had to be You” swells around them, but they’ve both forgotten about the music and the day that they’ve had. Henry kisses her slowly and tenderly, like the snow that brushed the ground earlier this morning. Maddy moves her hand from his shoulder to lightly scratch at the base of his hairline, and she kisses him in the same way the waves lap against the boat – gently, sure, but no longer tender. His lips are soft, and they taste like Chick-fil-A and coffee.

 

He stops swaying, moves his hand to the small of her back, and pulls her closer to him. She sighs and pulls his face closer to hers. The kiss that started out so tender, so sweet, builds into more of a snowstorm, her hand no longer scratching his hairline, but running through his hair. He moves his hand from hers and tangles his hand in her hair.

 

They need air, but God, this is nice. Maddy is the first to tap out, and she pulls away, but she knows Henry chases after her, that his eyes are still closed just like hers. Her eyelids flutter open, and Henry’s chest rises and falls slightly faster than normal. She cups his cheek with one hand and trails her index finger down his face.

 

“To answer your question,” she pants, staring into his clear blue eyes, “yes, you are the best damn kisser I’ve ever made out with.”

 

Henry dips his head again, but this time, he presses his lips to her neck, and Maddy hums, trying very hard not to let him know how much she loves this. “Who else,” he asks, kissing her collarbone, “have,” he kisses the skin right underneath her jaw, “you,” he kisses her voice box, “made out with?”

 

Maddy presses her lips together, and her eyelids flutter closed again. “Doesn’t matter.”

 

Henry kisses the hollow at the base of Maddy’s throat. “Yes, it does.”

 

“No,” she licks her lips and takes a moment to compose herself, “it doesn’t. You’re way better than all of them combined.”

 

Henry nods, lifts his head, and kisses Maddy once more. This time, she’s the one who chases after him. “I have just one more question,” he says.

 

“Hm?”

 

“Bedroom?”

 

Maddy’s eyes snap open, she wraps her arms around Henry’s neck, and squeals when Henry lifts her in his arms. “Did you really need to ask?”


	3. Meeting a Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've looked into adoption agencies, but they can't afford it. They're thinking about giving up for now, and then Maddy meets someone in the bathroom at UCSB.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in physics class, and I should definitely be paying attention to what he's talking about, but I'm not about that life.

Summer was nice, she must admit. She and Henry went surfing (she still hasn’t stopped laughing at his frequent falls and the fact that she was better than him, despite growing up in Ohio), he took her deep sea fishing, and she taught him how to play lacrosse; he absolutely loathed it, but he learned, and when he beat her brother? He liked it minisculely more.

 

There were other things that went on in the summer as well. She had her uterine surgery, and the doctor removed her fallopian tubes and the other ovarian cysts. Recovery was a bitch, but she got through it. Henry catered to her every need, and while that was nice, she was glad to get back on her feet.

 

Most importantly, she and Henry visited adoption agencies. Both she and Henry are flustered with the social workers, and they’re trying to work past that in order to actually adopt a child, but. Maddy clenches her fists and screams internally.  _ These social workers suck. _ Not all social workers are terrible, she knows. Just the ones that she and Henry are dealing with. More than that, though, adoption is more expensive than either she or Henry expected, and they’re trying to rework their budget, but if Maddy wants to become a psychologist, she needs more school, and they can’t afford both adoption and her master’s program.

 

But it’s September 6, and that means back to school for her. Maddy goes through her first couple of classes (Calc IV and Spanish III) before her first bladder movement of the school year. She has a half hour before her next class starts, so she pushes open the bathroom door.

 

There’s one other girl in the bathroom. The girl has long brown hair, a coppery kind of brown that could be considered red if the light was right, and olive skin. She has her hands braced against the sink, her head is bowed, and her shoulders are rising and falling as the girl weeps.

 

Maddy glances around the otherwise empty bathroom, takes a tentative step forward, and gently places a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “Are you alright?”

 

The girl shakes her head. “No.” She lifts one hand from the sink and rubs it underneath her nose. Maddy doesn’t miss the snot that sticks to the back of the girl’s hand.

 

Maddy quirks an eyebrow. “Oh? What’s wrong?”

 

The girl shakes her head again. “I’m  _ pregnant.” _

 

Maddy grits her teeth, trying not to let the girl know that her reaction to being pregnant – something she and Henry tried to do up until her salpingectomy – is at the top of Maddy’s list of pet peeves. Instead, she just grabs a couple of paper towels and passes them to the girl. “You didn’t want to get pregnant?”

 

The girl gratefully accepts the paper towels and wipes her nose. “No.” She licks her lips. “My boyfriend pressured me into having sex, and I guess– I guess you’re supposed to use protection, but I didn’t know that, and- and–” She breaks down into tears again.

 

Maddy hesitates for a moment before she hugs the girl. “I’m sure it’ll all be alright.”

 

The girl blows her nose. “No! It’s terrible! I can’t afford a baby! My parents are going to be so pissed at me, and my boyfriend has already told me to abort…”

 

Maddy grits her teeth again. “Are you going to?”

 

The girl shrugs one shoulder. “I don’t know. Probably.” She pulls away from Maddy, turns on the faucet, and immediately shuts off the water. “I just– I don’t know what to do.” She studies Maddy’s face. “My dad is a pastor, and when he finds out I’m pregnant, it’ll crush him. He might disown me. But if he finds out I had an abortion, he’ll  _ definitely  _ disown me.”

 

Maddy has an alternative, and she takes in a shaky breath, noticing how her hands tremble. “I know that I don’t really know you at all, but what about adoption?”

 

“And put the poor kid into the foster system?” The girl shakes her head. “I  _ came _ from the foster system, and I was ten when I was adopted. My parents are the only ones who seemed like they even liked me, let alone the only ones who did love me.”

 

Maddy shakes her head. “No, I mean like an independent adoption.”

 

The girl furrows her brow. “Like, I talk to a couple who’s trying to adopt and make arrangements with them?”

 

Maddy smiles and nods. “Yeah, like that.”

 

The girl purses her lips. “Do you have someone in mind?”

 

Maddy sighs and takes another careful step forward, hoping that she won’t scare off the girl. “My husband and I have been trying to have kids since about six months after we were married. We did get pregnant a few times, but we had a miscarriage every time, and I recently had surgery so that I can’t get pregnant anymore. We’ve been looking into adoption agencies, but we haven’t found anything good, and it’s out of our budget.”

 

The girl searches Maddy’s eyes. “You and your husband? You want my baby?”

 

Maddy shrugs. “Might as well give the little one a chance at life.”

 

The girl bites her bottom lip, considering this option. “Are you a student here?”

 

Maddy nods and gestures over her shoulder. “Yeah! I’m a senior here.”

 

“Would you and your husband be willing to sit down and talk about this?”

 

Maddy nods again. “Of course.”

 

The girl nods slowly. “I’ll meet with you guys. In-’N-Out later this week?” She seems to realize something and sticks out her hand. “I’m Linda Holl.”

 

Maddy shakes her hand. “Madeleine Spencer. My husband’s name is Henry, and I’ll talk to him about this tonight. Do you have a phone number or some way for us to contact you?”

 

Linda nods and digs in her bag. “Yeah, I just got a phone for my apartment. Here’s the number and the address, if you’d rather write me.”

 

Maddy nods and thanks her. “I’ll see you soon.”

 

Linda smiles at her. “See you soon, Mrs. Spencer.”

 

**

 

Henry sits at the table, runs his thumb over his bottom lip, and stares at Linda’s phone number and address. Maddy watches him, and she tries not to let her nervousness show, but she’s rearranged the utensils in the drawer four different times.

 

“Should we do it?” Henry asks hoarsely. “I mean, if we foster a child, that’s less expensive…”

 

“But we still have to pay for four more years of school for me. Regardless of how we do adoption through an agency, we just can’t afford it. Not with our salaries. If we talk to Linda, she might listen to our budget.” Maddy shrugs and fixes the flowers Henry brought home with him. “As it is, we’re pretty tight saving up for a child. Stretching out the leftovers as long as possible, no gifts for a year or so – except for these flowers –, minimal spending for any conceivable thing, and we  _ still _ can’t pay for both my school and a child.”

 

Henry fiddles with his watch. “And you think Linda might be more understanding about our financial issues?”

 

“She’ll certainly be more understanding; I just don’t know how we’re going to do this.” She sighs and hangs her head. “We can at least meet with her, can’t we?”

 

Henry nods. “Do you want to call her, or should I?”

 

**

 

Henry pays for their food and carries it over to the table Maddy and Linda picked out. Linda sits on her own side of the booth and immediately digs in. Henry watches her with a raised eyebrow. “When was the last time you ate?”

 

Maddy elbows him. “Pregnancy stomach,” she whispers to him, but loudly enough that Linda doesn’t feel embarrassed by Henry’s question. “There is no such thing as enough food. You could eat through two bags of popcorn and still be hungry.”

 

Linda’s eyes grow wide. “Really? I’m not just weird?”

 

Maddy shakes her head. “Nope. You’re just fine. Besides, it’s science: your hormones are all out of whack, and now you have to feed two humans instead of just you. Of course you’re going to be hungrier.”

 

Linda smiles. “Thanks!” She reaches for a ketchup packet, tears it open, and squeezes it around all of her fries.

 

Maddy thinks Henry’s going to have an aneurysm.

 

Linda takes a fry, pops it in her mouth, and looks at the young married couple. “So, how does this work?”

 

Henry wraps one arm around Maddy’s shoulders and shrugs. “We don’t know. This is the first time we’ve considered independent adoption.”

 

Maddy shifts so that Henry’s arm wraps more tightly around her. “I talked to one of the professors about it – Dr. Williams, I don’t know if you know her – who did go through an independent closed adoption. She said that you can choose who adopts your child –”

 

Linda points at Maddy and Henry. “You two.”

 

Maddy nods. “Right, and you can choose, like, who’s in the delivery room with you when you deliver –”

 

Linda purses her lips and points to Henry. “You’re a cop, right?”

 

Henry nods once. “I am.”

 

“Have you ever delivered a baby before?”

 

Henry looks up at the ceiling, trying to recall the last baby he delivered. “Actually, I did. We were talking to a pregnant witness at the crime scene, and she started going into labor. Since I was fresh out of the academy, I was saddled with the delivery until the ambulance got there, but the baby came before the ambulance arrived.”

 

Linda looks at Maddy. “Then I’d like both of you in the delivery room, if you’d be willing.”

 

Maddy smiles and nods. “That’s fine with me, but we’ve got eight or nine months to discuss that, depending on how far along you are.” She digs in her purse, pulls out a card, and passes it to Linda. “That’s Dr. Williams’ contact information, if you’d like to know more about how it works.”

 

Linda tentatively takes it. “Don’t you need to go through the legal process of adopting?”

 

Henry leans his head back and groans while Maddy nods. At Linda’s confused look, Maddy gestures at Henry. “He hates lawyers. They’ve gotten a lot of perps acquitted when they didn’t deserve to be, and he’s still pissed about it. As a result, he  _ rudely _ groups all lawyers into the same category of slum.”

 

Henry holds up both hands in surrender. “All I’m saying is that most lawyers are scum of the earth.”

 

“Not all of them are.”

 

“But most are!”

 

Linda’s eyes bounce back and forth, and she smiles at the married bickering. “I have a friend who’s in pre-law. I can ask him if he knows of any family lawyers willing to help out two college students.”

 

Maddy smiles. “That sounds good.”

 

**

 

Because of their financial situation, Linda was perfectly willing to let them pay for her hospital visit, her lawyer, and a little extra to account for the fact that she’s almost a broke college student. Both the Spencers’ lawyer and Linda’s lawyer took into consideration their financial situation and reduced their fees.

 

Every week, once a week, Linda and Maddy have lunch together on campus to get to know each other. Occasionally, the adoption comes up in conversation, but it’s not necessarily the favorite topic of conversation.

 

Today, however, it’s all Linda can think about.

 

“Are you sure that Henry’s fine with being in the delivery room? I know he said that he’s delivered a baby before, but I don’t know if that means he’s comfortable being  _ in _ the room, y’know?”

 

Maddy unwraps her sandwich. “Henry will be just fine in the room. Besides, his hand is much stronger than mine, and you’ll probably need to grip something during the entire birthing process.”

 

Linda nods slowly. “I know we haven’t talked about this, but…do you want a closed adoption, where I don’t have any contact with the – your – baby after I give birth?”

 

Maddy looks up from her sandwich and searches Linda’s eyes. “If that’s what you want.” She takes a bite out of her sandwich, a piece of lettuce sticking out of her mouth. “I mean, you’re the birth mother, and I think the fact that you’re just giving birth entitles you to how much contact you want to have. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to keep our friendship going.”

 

Linda smiles at her. “My dad wants me to move back to Albuquerque after I have this baby. That way, he can keep a better eye on me and all. Hopefully, I won’t have another baby until I’m married.”

 

Maddy purses her lips and nods slowly. “Well…we can send you pictures of the baby and tell you about him in letters or something, if you give us your future contact information. If that’s what you want, of course.”

 

Linda’s face lights up. “Really? You’d do that?”

 

Maddy reaches for Linda’s hand. “Of  _ course. _ This baby is half-you. The least we could do is keep you up-to-date on the baby if that’s what you want.”

 

Linda squeezes Maddy’s hand. “I’d love that.” She takes a bite of her pizza – topped with pineapple (Maddy tries not to gag because pineapple on pizza is just wrong) – and talks through a mouthful of pizza. “Have you and Henry decided on names?”

 

Maddy takes a drink of her soda and shakes her head. “Depends on the sex of the baby. We did agree on a girl name – Adison Paige – but we can’t agree on a boy name. I say that we should name him after Henry, and Henry doesn’t want to keep his name going any longer.”

 

Linda raises her eyebrows. “Oh? Why not?”

 

Maddy shrugs. “Henry’s a junior, and he’s never believed in going beyond the title ‘jr.’ He actually really hates that he’s a junior,  _ and _ he says that it’d make it really confusing.”

 

“What does he want to name the baby if it’s a boy?”

 

Maddy chews past her sandwich and swallows before she answers the question. “He really likes the name Shawn for some reason. I will admit, the meaning of the name is sweet, but still.” She shrugs. “I love the name Henry.”

 

Linda grins. “I can see why. Your husband is a very kind man.” She takes another bite of pizza. “Especially for a cop. I would never have expected him to be so…warm.”

 

Maddy smiles. “Yeah, he’s like that.” She glances around her and leans forward, as if she’s imparting a secret. “He loves to dance. He’s terrible at it, there’s no question about it, but he loves to dance.” She smiles softly, recalling fondly how frequently he dances now that they’re going to have a baby. “He really likes to dance at sunset, out on the porch. He’ll put on a Sinatra record and just hold me close.” She licks her lips. “Henry will especially dance with me if he knows I’m having a bad day or if I’m stressed out or something. It’s like his way of telling me that everything’s going to be okay.”

 

Linda searches Maddy’s eyes. “You really love him, don’t you?”

 

Maddy sips from her drink. “There was a day, when we were dating, that Henry was involved in a shooting. He got injured – nothing too serious – but I didn’t know that at the time. All I knew was that Henry was in danger, and I was helpless. I had no idea whether he was going to live or die. I have never felt a fear like that before. I couldn’t get my mind off of him. Every thought I had somehow circled back to Henry, and the moment I got the all-clear to see him, I couldn’t get there fast enough.” She shrugs. “Right now, I just…I want to be with him, but not in a clingy way, y’know? I have other friends and I enjoy being with other people, but life is just so much better when I’m with him.”

 

Linda nods. “Is there anyone you love as much as him?”

 

Maddy smiles and nods. “Yep. Four, actually.” At Linda’s look of confusion, Maddy pushes her lunch aside, rests her forearms on the dirty table, and shrugs. “I never met the three miscarriages, but I loved every single one of them. It’s heartbreaking to think about them, but I would give anything to meet them. And I love that baby you’re carrying – it may not technically be mine, but I love that baby so much…I would kill to protect it.”

 

Linda looks down at her pizza. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

 

Maddy licks her lips and looks down at the table. “You don’t have to go through with the adoption if you don’t want to.”

 

Linda looks up. “I love this baby just as much as you – and probably Henry – do, and I would love to keep this baby, but I’m a college student, and I can’t afford him or her. I don’t have a job. I’m unmarried, about to have a child. That circulates quickly. Besides, my father…he doesn’t want anything to do with a ‘bastard baby born outside of God’s plan.’” Linda rolls her eyes. “I think his philosophy is stupid, but the University of New Mexico is cheaper, and I can probably find a part-time job there.”

 

“Your father doesn’t have to control your life,” Maddy says, reaching forward to cover Linda’s hand with her own.

 

Linda pats Maddy’s hand with her other hand. “I know, but don’t you see? I’d have to drop out of college to provide for this baby, and that’d just set me back so much. That baby would grow up with a broke mother, no father, and minimal meals. I don’t want to do that to him – or her. At least if you guys have the baby, he or she has financial stability immediately, a  _ father, _ two parents, and provisional meals. I want my baby to have the best life possible.”

 

Maddy furrows her brow, and her eyes well up with tears. “And you think Henry and I can give it that?”

 

Linda smiles at her. “I  _ know  _ you two can give the baby that life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lOve this fic so heckin much


	4. When Your Life Falls All Apart, Who is Going to Stand by Your Side?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Linda is having second thoughts about the entire "give up the baby I'm growing in my stomach for an entire nine months" concept. You know, it happens sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It might seem like I'm killing it with the posting schedule and being a responsible person, but do not be fooled: I have most of this written. At any given time, I am two chapters ahead of what I am posting. This will not ever be repeated again in the history of my life. Ever.

Maddy snuggles into the pillows and flips the page of her book. The light from the lamp on Henry’s side of the bed casts a warm glow over the rest of the room, but not so much that shadows still don’t dance at her. Another light comes from the bathroom, where Henry changes from his police uniform to his far more comfortable pajamas.

 

“Mad?” he calls through a mouthful of toothpaste. He sticks his head out of the bathroom and looks around their bedroom.

 

“Yeah, babe?”

 

“Have you seen my gray t-shirt? I wanted to wear it to bed tonight.” He leans back into the bathroom, spits in the sink, and resumes his teeth-brushing.

 

Maddy sighs, unties her robe, and gets up to hang up her robe. “I’m wearing it.”

 

Henry turns on the faucet, rinses his mouth, turns off the light, and steps outside of the bathroom. Without the gray t-shirt that Maddy’s wearing, Henry is shirtless, and Maddy runs her eyes over his chest.

 

“Have you been working out more?”

 

Henry points a finger at her and walks backward to their closet. “That’s not the point. The point is that you took my shirt.”

 

Maddy shrugs, pulls the collar of his shirt up to her nose, and breathes in his scent. “Your shirts are more comfortable.”

 

“They’re  _ bigger!” _

 

“Exactly!” She lets the collar fall back down to its rightful place and hugs herself. “Besides, I like your shirts more.”

 

Henry pulls his academy sweatshirt from its hanger, walks out of the closet, and pulls the sweatshirt over his head. “Besides comfort, what makes my shirts better than any other shirt?”

 

She shrugs again, walks up to him, and drapes her arms around his neck. “You wore them, and they smell like you.”

 

Henry quirks an eyebrow. “You like the smell of sweat?”

 

Maddy smiles and shakes her head. “No, you don’t normally smell like sweat, unless you work out. You smell like you, and that’s comforting to me, especially on the days you come home late.”

 

Henry furrows his brow, connects the dots, looks away, and shakes his head. “‘The days I come home late.’ You were worried tonight, weren’t you?”

 

Maddy nods and pulls him closer to her. He places his hands on her waist in response. “You know I’ve been worried about you since we started dating.”

 

Henry rests his forehead against hers. “I’m not always in danger whenever I come home late. Sometimes I’m chasing a lead or interrogating a perp or filling out mounds of paperwork. Tonight was a paperwork day.”

 

Maddy nods and breathes in deeply. “I know that you’re not always in danger every day, but…I just can’t help but worry, y’know?”

 

Henry nods and lifts his head to press a kiss to Maddy’s forehead. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” He pulls away slightly, and surveys Maddy, who has been swallowed up by his shirt, but for some reason, it suits her. “Besides, you wear that shirt better than I ever could.”

 

Maddy grins. “I can keep it?”

 

Henry takes her hand and leads her to the bed. He’s tired from a long day of work, and all he wants is to drift off to dreamland, but Maddy’s clearly still worried. “You can keep it for  _ now. _ I want it back at some point.”

 

“Technically, what’s yours is mine,” Maddy says as she crawls back onto her side of the bed. “And it won’t leave the house unless you wear it.”

 

Henry pulls back the covers on his side of the bed and slips in. “So does that mean –”

 

Maddy presses her index finger to his lips, and he grins devilishly. “Stop. I know where your brain is going.”

 

“What am I supposed to say, Maddy?”

 

Maddy lies down on her side, and Henry takes that as his cue to lie down. He turns off the lamp and nestles into the bed. “I don’t know,” she says, scooting closer to him. She tucks her head into the crook of his neck and places her hand on his chest. “But seriously, have you been working out more?”

 

Henry huffs, the hot air blowing his curl up into the air. “Maybe. Why do you care?”

 

Maddy moves her hand. “I don’t know.” She looks up at him, and the smile on her face matches the mischief in her eyes. “But it’s fairly noticeable.”

 

Henry rolls his eyes. “I didn’t want a dad body until I’m much, much older. I’m twenty-three. I’m way too young to have a dad bod, so naturally, I need to prevent that.”

 

Maddy shrugs and kisses Henry’s neck. Lifting her head is too much effort. “Well, I like it,” she whispers.

 

“I’m glad.” He wraps his arm around his wife and pulls her closer.

 

He thought he was tired, but his body apparently doesn’t want to sleep. He just stares up at the ceiling, trying to memorize the pattern of the popcorn ceiling in the dark.

 

“Henry?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Do you think we’re going to be good parents?” Maddy’s voice is small in the darkness, and it’s a word that Henry doesn’t like assigning to her.

 

Henry licks his lips. “I pray we are, Maddy. We won’t be perfect, but hopefully, we’ll be good, and hopefully, we’ll raise a good kid.”

 

She nods and curls even further into his side. (This is Henry’s favorite part of marriage. Sure, he loves  _ sleeping _ with his wife – if you know what he means – but even more, he loves legitimately sleeping with his wife. He loves that she always curls into his side, even though her side of the bed is technically the left side and not the right. He loves that she always puts her hand on his chest because she’s so used to worrying about him that she needs to know that he’s still breathing. He loves her, and he loves being with her.) “I think Linda is having second thoughts.”

 

Henry nods. “I can imagine. I mean, she’s been carrying this little one around for what – five months now?”

 

“Six,” Maddy corrects. “Seven as of February 2.”

 

“Even still, you carried each of our little angels for about three months, and we loved each of them more than anything. Three months versus six? I can imagine the emotional turmoil she’s facing.”

 

Maddy sighs and buries her face into Henry’s neck. “Should we offer to let her keep the baby?”

 

While he knows that it’s the more moral thing to do, the mere  _ idea _ of giving up the baby they’ve been waiting so long to have repulses him. “Did you talk to her about it?”

 

Maddy nods. “I did. She says she can’t afford it, and that her dad doesn’t want to deal with a ‘bastard baby’ – his words, not mine – and that, to provide for the baby, she’d have to take minimum wage jobs and drop out of school.”

 

Henry sighs. “Do you want to?”

 

Maddy looks up at him and stares at him as if he’s grown eight heads. “Are you insane? Of course I don’t want to give up that baby, but I was just wondering if it’s the right thing to do.”

 

Henry props himself on his elbows. “Well, let’s think of this logically. What’s best for the baby? And furthermore, who are his –”

 

“Or her.”

 

Henry nods. “– or her grandparents going to be? Your parents like me just fine, my parents like you, and they’ll both be overjoyed with our little one. We know for sure Linda’s dad doesn’t want anything to do with the baby. That can’t be good.”

 

Maddy sighs and hangs her head. “I don’t know what to do, Henry,” she admits.

 

“Who  _ does _ in this situation?” He falls back against the mattress, and Maddy curls back into his side. He scrubs a hand over his face. “I’ll call Father Westley in the morning.”

 

“I just don’t want to make the wrong choice, Henry.”

 

He nods and kisses her head. “I know the feeling.”

 

**

 

Henry hangs up the phone, Father Westley mentioning that he’ll be praying that God reveals to Maddy and Henry what they’re supposed to do. As it stands, Henry just wants to tell Maddy that they’re going through with the adoption unless Linda explicitly tells them otherwise.

 

“Henry!”

 

He lifts his head at the sound of his name and twists his head, picking out Linda at the front of the station. Henry glances around, deciding that no one’s watching him too intently, and gets up, walking over to Linda.

 

“Linda, hey.” Henry runs a hand through his hair. “What are you doing here? Did you see something at UCSB? Is Maddy alright?”

 

Linda smiles and gently smacks his shoulder. “Everything’s alright, silly. I just wanted to see you.”

 

Henry nods slowly. “See…me?” He laughs uncomfortably. “Just me? Not Maddy, too?”

 

Linda shakes her head. “If now is a bad time, I can come back later.”

 

Henry licks his lips and glances over his shoulder. Truthfully, it’s a slow day at the station. Even the top detectives don’t have any major cases, and Henry’s been stuck filing paperwork and running coffee errands for the detectives for the better part of the morning. “I mean…it’s been a slow day at the station…” He seems to realize what that could imply, and he looks up sharply. “I was just about to call Maddy, though.”

 

Linda grabs his hand and starts dragging him outside. “Do you get lunch breaks?”

 

“Well, uh, yeah, but, Linda, I don’t think this is such a good –”

 

Linda spins around and raises an eyebrow. “The real question is: are you allowed to  _ leave _ during your lunch breaks?”

 

Henry awkwardly rubs at the back of his neck. “No…not really. We- we can stay outside of the station or make a quick pit stop at a restaurant nearby, but no…we don’t– we don’t get to leave.”

 

Linda snaps her fingers. “Well, that’s stupid. Good thing I brought some food with me!” She leaves him there and sprints off to her car.

 

“What? Linda, no– Wait!” He winces and scuffs his shoes against the gravel. “I already have a lunch,” he mumbles. “Maddy packed it.”

 

Linda comes running back to him, holding two paper sacks in her hands. When she gets to him, she grabs his hand and drags him over to the bench outside. Henry glances around again, hoping for someone to come and save him, but no one noticed (or no one cared), and he feels bad that Linda’s the only one sitting down, so he slowly lowers himself onto the bench.

 

“Uh, Linda, my lunch break isn’t technically for another hour yet.” He lifts one shoulder in a shrug. “Besides, I packed a lunch, and Maddy’s supposed to meet me during my break.”

 

Linda stuffs an entire slice of pizza into her mouth and chews past it. “If you’re sure that you won’t eat this, then I will,” she says through pizza dough. “But only if you’re sure.”

 

Henry nods hastily. “I’m sure.”

 

Linda shrugs. “Your loss. This pineapple pizza is really good.”

 

Henry plays with the strap on his watch. “So, uh…how’s the baby doing? Doctor give you any updates?”

 

Linda nods and chews past the pizza. “Yeah. Dr. Cooke said everything seems to be going well.” She smiles softly at him. “I know that I’ve been having second thoughts, but honestly? I think you and Maddy will be far better at parenting than I would be.” She giggles, sets her lunch aside, and scoots closer to Henry. “Maddy’s a lucky gal,” she says, her dark brown eyes searching Henry’s blue ones.

 

Henry licks his lips and tries to lean away from Linda, but his back presses into the armrest on the bench. “I, uh…most people say it’s the other way around.”

 

Linda shakes her head and moves even closer to Henry, cupping her hands around his neck. Henry’s heart pounds in his chest, and he wants to bolt away from her, but that would just be rude. “Do you want to dance, Henry?”

 

Henry shakes his head frantically. “N-no. I, uh, think my boss wanted to see me. I remember he mentioned something about a, uh…pr-promotion or something…”

 

Linda laughs, stands up, and takes his hands. “Come on. Let’s go dancing.”

 

Henry gulps. “There’s no music,” he says, hoping it’s enough of a deterrent.

 

It isn’t.

 

Linda shakes her head and drags Henry over to her car. “Actually, my friend loaned me one of her tapes. Maddy said you like Sinatra, so I borrowed a Sinatra tape!”

 

Henry licks his lips and tries to back away. “Well, uh…that’s sweet, Linda, but really, I don’t think we should –”

 

Linda opens her car door, turns on the ignition, and fiddles with the stereo until Sinatra’s voice floats out of the car just loud enough for them to dance to. “Oh, come on! It’ll be fun!” She runs around the front of the car, drapes her arms around Henry’s neck, and starts swaying.

 

Henry has no idea what to do with his hands. Putting them on her waist is  _ certainly _ not an option, so he settles on trying to remove her arms from his neck. “Linda, please, I’m happily married. You’re sweet and all, but I love my wife.”

 

Linda’s hold on him is a lot stronger than he realized, and she presses a kiss to his cheek. “She’ll never know.”

 

Henry nods his head frantically. “Oh, yes, she will. If I don’t tell her, she’ll find out someway or another. Please, Linda, let’s– let’s not.”

 

Linda shakes her head and steps closer him. “She won’t know if you don’t tell her.” Her eyelids flutter closed, and Henry knows  _ exactly _ what’s about to happen, and he awkwardly tries to bend away from her, but in the process, his hands move to her waist.

 

Linda manages to catch him off guard and kisses his lips, and Henry stops in complete shock, his eyes still open as he tries to think of a way that he could possibly get out of this one.

 

“Having fun there, Mr. Spencer?”

 

_ Shit. _

 

Linda backs away from Henry, and Henry turns around, reaching up with one hand to wipe at his mouth. “Maddy…”

 

Maddy’s eyes flash with anger, but Henry doesn’t miss the hurt lying behind the anger. “Save it.” She turns around and storms off, and Henry runs after her.

 

“Maddy, wait! You don’t understand!”

 

Maddy wheels around, her purse flying so forcefully that it nearly hits Henry in the stomach. “What the  _ hell _ don’t I understand, Henry? You two were kissing! You had your hands on her waist! Even goddamn  _ Sinatra _ was playing, and that’s the music you listen to to get in a romantic mood!”

 

Henry shakes his head and tries to take a step closer, but at the fire spitting from Maddy’s eyes, he decides that it’s not the greatest idea in the world. “Maddy, I tried to stop her! I was trying to get away from her!”

 

“You were still with her! Whatever you did or didn’t do, you still were alone with her!”

 

“I kept telling her no!”

 

Maddy takes a step forward and jabs a finger into his chest. “No! You  _ might _ have said it wasn’t a good idea, and you  _ might _ have said no, but it still happened, Henry! It still happened!”

 

Henry tries to place a placating hand on her arm, but she shakes it off. “Maddy, you don’t– you don’t get it!”

 

“Save it for the jury!”

 

Henry’s shoulders fall, and he takes a step backward. “Are you saying you might actually  _ divorce _ me?”

 

“Well, you’re not exactly being faithful!”

 

Henry runs a hand through his hair. “This wasn’t my idea! I wanted to get back to work!”

 

Maddy shakes her head. “Goodbye, Henry.”

 

Henry licks his lips and moves to chase after her. “Mad– Maddy, wait!”

 

When she keeps running off, Henry feels like a complete and total piece of shit.

 

**

 

“What do you want me to  _ say, _ Madeleine?” he shouts at her across the bed.

 

She gestures wildly with her hands. “I don’t know, Henry! Maybe an apology would be great! Hell, maybe an explanation as to why I’m not fucking good enough! You always said I was! What changed? When you found a new baby mama?”

 

Henry’s eyes flash, and he clenches his jaw, trying desperately not to shout anymore. “You know that’s not true,” he says lowly, and Maddy shuffles a step or two backwards.

 

“You were  _ alone _ with her!”

 

“If you’d  _ fucking _ let me explain, then maybe you’ll understand!”

 

“Henry, you kissed her! There’s not much you can do to come back from that!”

 

Henry presses the heels of his hands into his eyes. “I  _ didn’t _ kiss her, Maddy! She kissed me!”

 

“How do I know you’re telling the truth? You come home late randomly, and I have no idea if you actually were at work, or if you were with Linda. How can I  _ trust _ you?!”

 

Henry looks up sharply. “Because I don’t  _ care _ about anyone else the same way I care about you!  _ Yes, _ Linda is carrying the baby that’s going to become our child, and  _ yes, _ she’s a sweet girl, but I would never  _ dream _ of being with her! You’re my wife! You are the  _ only _ woman I ever wanted to marry!”

 

“You don’t have to marry a woman to be screwing her!”

 

Henry’s eyes widen, and he walks around the bed to better face Madeleine. “Are you implying that I slept with her?”

 

Maddy licks her lips and regards Henry’s stance. He’s never been violent with her, but she’s scared of him for the first time in their marriage. “How do I know that you haven’t, Henry? I show up early at the police station to surprise you, and I see you with Linda. What the hell am I supposed to think?”

 

Henry shakes his head, and his entire body is tense. “The  _ only _ woman I have ever had sex with is you. The only woman I have ever been intimate or hell, even vulnerable, with is you. I have told you fears and secrets and dreams that I barely knew I had, that I have told to no one else in the world. I trust you more than anyone else in the world. Why the  _ hell _ would I try and screw that up?”

 

Maddy gestures at the door. “I don’t know, Henry, but I know what I saw!”

 

Henry presses his fists into his eyes, laughs humorlessly, and turns away from her. “You have no  _ idea _ what you saw!” He sniffs, turns around to look at her again, and says, “I’m only going to say this once, so pay attention: I had just finished a call to Father Westley about the conversation we had last night. I heard my name being called, and I recognized Linda, and I was worried that something bad had happened, so I went to check on her.  _ She _ dragged me out of the station, and  _ she _ decided to eat lunch with  _ me. _ I didn’t want to be mean because she’s nineteen years old and absolutely terrified for what she faces, so I figured that since we were in a public place, nothing bad could happen. I asked her about the baby, but she brushed off that topic and started making a move on me. I tried to make excuses to get away, but  _ she _ dragged me over to her car,  _ she _ started playing Sinatra, and  _ she  _ started dancing with me. I was trying to get away, but she’s a lot stronger than she looks, and I didn’t want to hurt her.”

 

Maddy blinks. “You only told her the truth?”

 

“Yes! I’ve been raised all my life only to ever tell the truth, and this time, it bit me in the ass!” He takes a tentative step forward. “Maddy, I swear on my fucking  _ life _ that I would never do anything to hurt you. I will always be faithful to you.”

 

Maddy presses her lips together. “Henry, even if you didn’t try anything with her, she tried something with  _ you. _ Can we trust her again?”

 

Henry shrugs. “Maddy, we have to keep contact with her until the baby comes, and then…then we don’t have to talk to her again. We can ask for a closed adoption due to a conflict of interest or something.”

 

Maddy smiles slightly. “That’s a police term.”

 

Henry wags a finger at her. “And a medical term, and a legal term.” He places his hands on her arms. “Listen, Maddy, I love you more than anything. I need you to be in my life, so if we need to find another person to adopt from, just give me the word, and we’ll call Linda and cancel the adoption.”

 

Maddy shakes her head. “No. We can’t do that, especially with all the finances and all.” She takes a shaky breath. “We’ll deal with it for another couple of months, and then we’ll be done with this entire mess.” She holds up her index finger. “But you are never allowed to be alone with her ever again.”

 

Henry nods. “Understood.”

 

“And you need to learn to lie better to women who try to make a move on you. What if you go undercover and you’re under a polygraph? You’ll need to know how to lie better.”

 

Henry rolls his eyes. “That’s going to be a while from now, Mad.” He searches her eyes. “Are we good? Am I allowed to sleep in the bed next to the love of my life, or am I still banished to the couch?”

 

Maddy smiles softly for a brief moment, but her smile falls. “You really hurt me today, you know that?”

 

It feels like a stab in the chest. He nods his head ashamedly. “I know.” He kisses her slowly. “But I didn’t mean to. I wouldn’t do that to you. I can’t lose you, Mad. You’re way too important to me.”

 

Maddy drapes her arms around his neck and pulls him close, kissing him fiercely. Henry’s surprised by it, but he’s not one to complain, so he just lifts Maddy in his arms while she runs one hand through his hair. Maddy pulls away once for air. “Don’t you ever do that to me again,” she whispers with her eyes closed.

 

“What?” he asks hoarsely, licking his lips. “Pick you up or be alone with another woman?”

 

Maddy smiles. “Be alone with another woman,” she answers, pulling his face back to hers.

 

Henry nods. “Right. That.” He presses a kiss to her neck, laying her down on the bed. “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also: I have a gReaT fic idea, and it is all about the angst. I'm not killing Henry. But yeah.


	5. Meet the Parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The phone rings at three in the morning on February 19.
> 
> The baby's coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I, uh. Have never witnessed a birthing, and I don't want to anytime soon, if ever. If any of this is inaccurate, I just. I tried to be as accurate as I knew how, but still.

The phone rings at three in the damn morning on February 19.

 

Henry groans, his head lolling on his pillow. He doesn’t want to get up at this God-forsaken hour. This is the devil’s hour, and he is not going to contend with the devil.

 

The shrill sound of the phone pierces through the silence, breaking through Maddy’s dreamlike state. She lifts her head slightly, looks at him through bleary eyes, and tries to make sense of where she is and what’s happening. “You should get that.”

 

Henry rubs his eyes with his right hand. “Why should  _ I _ get it?”

 

“Because when the phone rings at three in the morning, it’s generally for you.”

 

Henry groans, pushes himself out of bed, and pulls on his robe. “This hour, by all means, should be cancelled.”

 

Maddy nods and flops back onto the bed. “Agreed.”

 

Henry shuffles out of the bedroom and down the stairs, grumbling at the phone all the while. Even worse, it’s February 19. This day can’t last any longer than absolutely necessary. In fact, he was planning to sleep in today.

 

He gets to the phone, lifts it off its cradle, puts it to his ear, and growls, “Please tell me you have a damn good reason for waking me up this early in the morning.”

 

The person at the other end pants for a moment, groans in pain, and then manages to say, “Henry! It’s the baby! The baby’s coming!”

 

Henry’s suddenly wide awake, and his shoulders straighten. “What? No, that can’t be. You’re not due for another two months.”

 

Linda gasps in pain. “I know! I thought it was just false contractions, but– but my water –  _ fuck! _ – broke! I called an ambulance a couple of minutes ago, but I need you and Maddy to meet me at the hospital!”

 

Henry nods. “Alright. We’ll be there as soon as we can. Good luck,” he says, not knowing what else to say.

 

Linda hisses as another contraction hits. “Thanks! See you soon!”

 

Henry hangs up the phone. “Maddy?” he shouts, running up the stairs.

 

“What?” she shouts back, sleep still at the forefront of her mind.

 

“The baby’s coming!” he says as he bursts through the room.

 

Maddy immediately sits up, all thoughts of sleep gone. “Are you sure? She’s only seven months along…”

 

Henry nods, flips on the light, and beelines for the closet. “That’s what I said, but she said her water broke. Come on, we’ve got to get to the hospital!”

 

Maddy doesn’t need him to say more before she’s at his side. Henry can’t even open his mouth to object before she takes one of his relatively clean shirts off the hanger, pulls off her pajama shirt, and slips on his sweatshirt. He shrugs, grabs a clean white t-shirt, and pulls it on. He reaches over Maddy’s shoulder, grabs a pair of jeans, and pulls off his boxer pants while Maddy grabs her own pair of jeans. They both toss their pajama pants haphazardly around the closet, ignoring the mess they’ll inevitably make, as they pull on their jeans. Maddy grabs a pair of socks and her tennis shoes before she bolts out of the closet. “I’m going to brush my teeth!”

 

Henry grabs his own socks and shoes and follows her. “Not a bad idea.” They elbow each other at the sink because of the lack of room and brush their teeth as quickly as humanly and hygienically possible. They spit, rinse, and pull on their shoes, rushing down the stairs. Henry makes a quick stop at the kitchen table, grabs his truck keys, and pulls on his jacket.

 

“Damn thing doesn’t have police sirens,” he mumbles.

 

Maddy rolls her eyes and falls back against her seat. “Why don’t you ever bring a police cruiser home?”

 

“Because I have a functional truck!” He sticks the keys in the ignition, and the truck roars to life. He reverses the truck out of the driveway, shifts the gear into drive, and presses his foot against the gas pedal, speeding all the way to Santa Barbara General Hospital before Henry realizes that may not be the hospital he’s supposed to go to. “Here,” he says, passing Maddy his pager, “Ask Linda where –”

 

“All the other hospitals are too far away from the college! She’ll be at Santa Barbara General!”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Did you make me memorize a map of Santa Barbara when we first started dating?”

 

Henry grits his teeth and grips the steering wheel tightly. “That’s fair.” Thankfully, no one’s out at three in the morning on February 19. It’s like the entire world has decided to sleep. The last time it was this quiet in Santa Barbara was February 19, 1976, a full year ago. “But still, page Herb and tell him I might not be in today.”

 

“You  _ won’t _ be in today! We’re having a baby!”

 

“Just page him!”

 

Maddy seems to realize something and turns to him with wide eyes. “Henry, we didn’t bring the suitcase.”

 

Henry shakes his head. “I figured the little bugger would want to make life difficult for us. Check underneath your seat.”

 

Maddy bends over, hoping that Henry won’t have to make any immediate stops and pulls out a duffel bag. “Really? It has all the stuff?”

 

Henry shrugs. “I bought a couple of extra baby clothes, just in case of this scenario. Everything we could need is in there – extra toothbrushes, toothpaste, clothes, and deodorant.”

 

Maddy smiles, and she would kiss him if he weren’t driving. “I love you.”

 

Henry glances at her and grins. “I know.”

 

They pull into the parking lot at Santa Barbara General and run up to the emergency entrance just as an ambulance pulls up to the entrance. The back doors bang open, and EMTs unload a gurney. The girl on the gurney looks up and points to the Spencers.

 

“That’s them!” she shouts at the paramedics. “Those are the adoptive parents! They’re allowed to be with me in the delivery room!”

 

Henry takes Linda’s left side while Maddy takes her right side, and they run inside with the paramedics. Dr. Cooke meets them in the hallway and rushes off to the delivery room with them. “How far apart are the contractions?” he asks one of the paramedics.

 

The paramedic on Henry’s side answers. “Three minutes apart, lasting forty-five seconds each.”

 

Dr. Cooke whistles lowly. “This little one wants out fast,” he says. “Okay, take them to Delivery Room 3. I’m going to scrub up.”

 

The paramedics laser the Spencers with a glare. “We’re going to get to Delivery Room 3. She needs to change into her hospital gown first. In a couple of minutes, you can be there.”

 

Both Maddy and Henry nod, falling back behind as they rush Linda off to the delivery room. Maddy reaches out for Henry’s hand and squeezes it. “This is it,” she whispers. “This is what we’ve been waiting for for three years.”

 

Henry nods his head. “I can’t believe it.”

 

Maddy shakes her head. “And this little one had to come on February 19, of all days.”

 

Henry wraps his arm around her and kisses her head. “Well, instead of it being such a day of sorrow, maybe it’ll be a day of happiness.”

 

Maddy nods. “Yeah. It will.”

 

**

 

Apparently, the delivery is moving a lot faster than normal. Dr. Cooke explains the process to Linda, and she nods in understanding, but Henry can tell that she’s absolutely terrified. He supposes he can understand. She’s young, and a male doctor is about to deliver her child.

 

Henry is shocked by how much blood is involved in the process. He thought that blood was  _ maybe _ only for the baby – after the baby was already born, of course – but apparently, women are supposed to bleed. Who knew?

 

Despite his newfound knowledge, Henry’s nervous, and he takes to pacing the delivery room. Maddy has been assigned as Linda’s moral support system until the first time she almost breaks Maddy’s hand, and then Henry will take over the hand-holding part.

 

There’s a lot of blood.

 

Even Dr. Cooke seems to think so, and he leans back in his seat. “This is going to be a difficult little one,” he murmurs, resisting the urge to run his hand through his hair.

 

Henry’s ears catch that, and he stops pacing and turns to the doctor. “What?”

 

Dr. Cooke shrugs. “She should be fine, but this is more blood than normal. We won’t know much else until the delivery process fully starts, but…” He shrugs again. “This isn’t going to be an easy delivery is all I’m saying.”

 

Henry narrows his eyes at the doctor and glances at the two women. “Are either of them in danger?”

 

Dr. Cooke shakes his head. “Not as far as I can tell, but that’s for now. Complications could arise.” When he feels Henry’s glare on his neck, he sighs and twists his chair to face Henry. “You’re a police officer, Henry. You know how this is supposed to work – minus the blood thing, I can’t believe you didn’t know that –”

 

“It was a murder scene, I thought the blood was coming from the  _ victim!” _

 

“Wasn’t the victim dead?”

 

Henry shakes his head. “There were two. One was already dead, one was dying. The ambulance left too late, so I was saddled with delivery. Apparently the dying one was the mother’s husband, so…”

 

Dr. Cooke furrows his brow and shakes his head. “Right. Anyway, at any moment, things can go south because that’s how medicine works. There’s no guarantee for anything. The human body can survive miraculous things, but it’s incredibly fragile at the same time.”

 

Henry nods and runs his hand through his hair. “If you say so, Doc. You’re the expert.”

 

Dr. Cooke smiles at him and turns back to Linda. “Linda,” he says, getting her attention. Linda lifts her head, gasping for air through the contractions, and nods. Dr. Cooke nods reassuringly. “I need you to breathe slowly, alright? Push when I tell you.”

 

Linda nods and falls back against the pillows. Maddy pats her hand.

 

It takes another fifteen minutes before the actual delivery  _ begins, _ and Henry expects it to go smoothly. Not quickly, maybe, but smoothly, certainly.

 

“Oh, shit.”

 

Henry spins on his heel and wrings his hands, tossing a glance at Maddy. She looks equally as nervous, and she smoothes Linda’s hair, gently shushing her. “What?” Henry asks, taking a nervous step forward. “What does that mean? Why are you oh shitting?”

 

Dr. Cooke winces and turns to the nurse, completely ignoring Henry. “Get a couple more nurses and monitor her vitals. This is a breech baby.”

 

_ Breech baby. _

 

The words slam him in the chest.

 

Linda screams in pain.

 

Maddy can’t breathe.

 

“How much danger is this baby in, Doc?”

 

Dr. Cooke shakes his head and tells Linda to relax. “I don’t know, Henry. I’ve delivered a couple of breeches before, but that was way back in residency.”

 

“Are you telling me that you forgot how to deliver a baby?!”

 

Dr. Cooke glares at Henry. “That is not what I’m saying. A breech baby requires more help. It’ll also take longer,  _ and _ it’s a much more difficult delivery.”

 

Henry grits his teeth and uncurls his fists. “How much danger is my kid in?”

 

Dr. Cooke shrugs. “We’ll see. Right now, I’m just trying to get this baby out of here.” He sits up straighter. “Linda? Linda, I need you to push right now.”

 

Linda nods, grits her teeth, and curls into the contraction. Maddy yelps in pain, and Henry makes his way to Linda’s side to take her other hand, and he is  _ immediately _ struck by just how damn strong the woman is.

 

Dr. Cooke grits his teeth. “Where are my damn  _ nurses?” _

 

The door bangs open, and three nurses come in. Two of them flank Dr. Cooke’s side and the other gently pushes Maddy aside and starts monitoring Linda’s vitals. “She’s stable right now, Doctor.”

 

Dr. Cooke nods. “This is going to take a while.”

 

**

 

Henry, for whatever reason, was kicked out of the room. He assumes it’s because of spacing, but he’s also sure that Dr. Cooke was tired of his questions. Normally, he’d be pissed at the thought, but right now, his baby could be in danger, and Henry being in there isn’t exactly a good idea. Maddy’s the calm one. Maddy will be fine.

 

Henry paces the hall several times, to the point that he can walk the exact distance with his eyes closed and not run into anything. It takes exactly twenty-seven steps to get from the very back of the wall at one end to the doors leading out of the delivery floor. He spends a solid thirty minutes trying to determine the name of the color of the hospital walls – not quite blue, not periwinkle, but lighter than that. Darker than robin egg, lighter than periwinkle, and he’s still confused, so he gives up and resumes his pacing.

 

He presses his back to the wall and taps his thigh, waiting for any news of any sort. If Linda’s alright, if the baby is fine, what sex the baby is – instead of waiting until the end, they get the grand finale right at the beginning – but he has no idea what’s going on. He supposes that the doctor or Maddy would have told him if the baby was in any danger, but still. He’s out of the dark for the first time in his life, and he hates the feeling.

 

The door to Delivery Room 3 opens, and Maddy pokes her head out. “Henry?”

 

He steps away from the wall. “Is the baby out yet?” His chest rises and falls, and the possibility that he’s a father, that he can just step into the room and hold his son or his daughter…

 

Maddy shakes her head. “We have the sex of the baby, if you want to know.”

 

Henry licks his lips and nods. “Yeah. Yeah, I want to know.” He straightens his left hand and then squeezes it with his right hand.

 

Maddy grins at him. “It’s a boy.”

 

Henry looks at her in wonder, shakes his head, and laughs. “Figures,” he says. “The little guy would be the one sex that we can’t agree on names for.”

 

Maddy laughs. “Linda needs me back in there, but –” she grins. “We have a son!”

 

Henry doesn’t think he can stop smiling. “A son!”

 

When Maddy disappears back into the room, Henry presses his back up against the wall for the second time since he was banished, and he looks up to the ceiling. “God, I know I’m not very good at this, and I know that I don’t talk to you a lot, but  _ please,” _ he whispers, closing his eyes, “let that boy live. Give me a reason to love February 19.”

 

**

 

Maddy doesn’t like that Henry’s not in here. He’s her calm in the storm, her rock, her solid standing ground. Without him, she has to be all of that for Linda while having none of that for herself. Linda’s in extreme pain, and Dr. Cooke is concerned about her vitals, but they’re all within stable range, so he has no reason to worry.

 

Dr. Cooke licks his lips and one of the nurses dabs his forehead with a towel. “Mrs. Spencer, if you want, you can bring your husband in. The head is the most difficult part with a breech baby, but we’re almost there. This little guy is almost here.”

 

Maddy nods, pokes her head out the door, and searches for Henry. She briefly wonders if he went to get a snack from the vending machine, but she glances down, and she finds Henry with his eyes closed. She steps outside of the room. “The delivery not exciting enough for you?”

 

Henry looks up at her through wide, alert eyes and stands up. “No, I was just praying.” He lifts one shoulder in a shrug. “I need that baby to be alright.”

 

“He  _ is _ a premie, Henry.”

 

Henry licks his lips. “Yeah, I know. I know. That’s why I need him to be alright.”

 

“It wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that today is February 19?”

 

Henry nods his head sheepishly. “Yeah, that has something to do with it.”

 

Maddy jerks her head toward the door to Delivery Room 3. “It’s almost done. We’re at the finish line.”

 

Henry grins. “And then we’ll get to meet our little boy.”

 

Maddy smiles. “Our baby boy.”

 

Henry follows her inside, but before Maddy can open the door, he glances at his watch. “Jesus Christ,” he says. Maddy stops and cranes her head to look at his watch. “It’s twelve past one.”

 

**

 

Due to lack of space, Henry doesn’t pace this time in the delivery room. He dutifully takes his place by Linda’s side and helps Maddy coach her with breathing techniques. Dr. Cooke’s hair has long since fallen, and one of the nurses moves his hair out of his eyes so he can get the baby out safely.

 

The nurse standing close to Henry winces and looks to Dr. Cooke. “Her vital signs are going crazy, Doctor.”

 

Dr. Cooke grits his teeth and wipes his forehead with his sleeve. “How crazy?”

 

“Her heart rate is decreasing fairly rapidly, and her blood pressure is rising.”

 

“Christ.” Dr. Cooke shakes his head. “Linda, listen to me, you’re going to have to hold on for a little bit longer. This little guy is almost out, and then we can take proper care of you.”

 

Linda nods and grips Henry’s hand even more tightly.

 

Henry looks at Maddy across the hospital bed, and she nods once, allowing him to try and soothe her. Maddy’s a psychologist in training, but Henry is her rock. Linda needs a rock. He smoothes her hair. “Linda, you’re almost there. Just one more push, the next time the doctor says to push. Can you hold on that long?”

 

Linda swallows heavily and nods.

 

“Okay, good. That’s good.”

 

She throws back her head. “Here comes another.”

 

Dr. Cooke nods. “Okay, Linda, push.” He sticks the tip of his tongue out of the corner of his mouth. “Hopefully this little guy will come out with one more push.”

 

It takes three more pushes, actually. Henry doesn’t know what he expects when his son is actually born, but he’s just focused on getting Linda through these contractions when shrieking pierces through the air.

 

Henry looks up and pulls his hand away from Linda’s. He doesn’t even notice Maddy. All he sees is that little boy, squirming in the doctor’s hands, his face beet red as he screams at the top of his lungs. His body is covered in gook, and he is the most beautiful thing Henry has ever seen, Madeleine included.

 

The baby draws in another breath and screams some more. He’s absolutely tiny, so small that he can easily fit in the crook of Henry’s arm, and he might even be able to fit into Henry’s hands. The baby opens his eyes for just a brief second, and they lock onto Henry’s, and for one brief moment, the shrieking stops, and the baby just looks at Henry.

 

Henry knows this emotion. He knows this feeling of warmth that spreads throughout his entire body in such large amounts that he feels like he can’t stand up anymore, but never…he’s never felt it like this before. He turns away from his wife and child and swipes at his eyes.

 

He doesn’t know how it happens, but Maddy’s standing right in front of him, and she’s crying, too. She cups his face with both of her hands. “Did you see our son?” she asks, smiling so brightly that Henry knows the sun can’t even compare. Her smile matches the feeling in his heart.

 

He nods frantically and grabs her hands. “He’s wonderful!”

 

Maddy stands on her tiptoes and kisses him once before she turns him around to face his son. One of the nurses lays him on Linda’s stomach, and Henry absently notes that the umbilical cord is still attached. The other nurse passes him a pair of scissors. “Here,” she says. “It’s your time to shine, Pops.”

 

Henry cuts the umbilical cord, and the first nurse picks up the little baby and takes him to clean him up. Henry wants to follow her, wants to make sure that his baby is going to be alright, but the other nurses shake their heads at him and assure him that their son will be alright. Moments later, the baby returns, wrapped in a blue blanket with the tiniest blue hat that Henry’s ever seen covering his ears.

 

When the nurse offers the baby to Linda, she shakes her head and points to Maddy. “It’s a closed adoption,” she says, swallowing heavily. “I’m not the mother. She is.”

 

Maddy looks at her. “Are you sure?”

 

Linda nods. “I almost ruined your marriage. I’m not going to ruin your family. It’s fine; I’ll be alright eventually.”

 

The nurse raises an eyebrow. “I’ll go get the formula,” she says. “But in the meantime, why don’t you take a seat and hold your little one?”

 

Maddy nods and slowly lowers herself onto the only other seat in the room. The nurse gently places the baby into Maddy’s arms. He’s still crying, though not as loudly as he was at first. The moment he’s placed into Maddy’s arms, Maddy’s jaw drops and she looks at her husband with watery eyes. “Have you ever seen anything so amazing?”

 

Henry shakes his head and wraps his arm around Maddy’s shoulder and stares in wonder at his son. “He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

 

The other nurse comes up to him, and Henry looks up, realizing for the first time that they wheeled Linda out of the room, probably to take care of her and stabilize her. The nurse waves her hand in front of his eyes. “Do you have a name?”

 

Henry looks at Maddy. “Do we?”

 

She nods. “We can compromise on the name.”

 

He raises an eyebrow. “I get to choose the name?”

 

“Only as long as both of our chosen names are a part of it.”

 

Henry kisses her head and smiles down at his baby. “Yeah, uh…where do I sign?”

 

The nurse presents him a pen and a birth certificate. “Right here, sir.”

 

On the dotted line, Henry writes out, in his absolute neatest handwriting:  **_Shawn Henry Spencer._ **

 

The nurse takes the birth certificate from him and glances at the name. “Shawn,” she says. “Is that a family name?”

 

Henry shakes his head. “Nah. We just liked the meaning.”

 

The nurse smiles at him. “What does it mean?”

 

Henry settles next to his wife’s side and offers Shawn his index finger. Shawn, placated now that Maddy has started feeding him formula, wraps his entire hand around Henry’s finger, and Henry is sure that he stops breathing. Maddy tells him something, but his eyes are trained on his son and the tiniest hand in the whole world wrapped around his finger.

 

“‘Gift from God,’” Henry breathes, and he feels a lump in his throat and tears prickling at his eyes, but he can’t stop smiling. “The name Shawn means ‘gift from God.’”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once I learned what Shawn's name means, I developed a headcanon that, not only was Henry the one to name Shawn, but they had a reason for naming Shawn so, and. They'd be the couple who looks up name meanings, and since Shawn was born breech, it just makes so much sense.


	6. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so hungry right now, and I'm craving cookies. So many cookies. Like, all the kids in my class are ordering Girl Scout cookies.  
> Anywhoosies, this is finished now…

The first time Henry holds Shawn, Maddy needs to pee so badly that she will physically burst if she doesn’t go (the delivery was extremely long, and while  _ Henry _ had all the time in the world to use the bathroom since he was banned from the delivery room, Maddy did not have that kind of time). Shawn is nearly asleep – his hazel eyes are half-closed, and he opens his little mouth to yawn, and Henry thinks he might cry.

 

Maddy passes him to Henry with the promise that she’ll return soon. She places Shawn in the crook of Henry’s arm, and Henry was right – Shawn fits absolutely perfectly. His tiny blue hat almost falls off his head, and Henry uses his free hand to fix it, but he feels like he’s holding the most precious, fragile thing in the world, like one wrong twitch of the arm will kill him.

 

Maddy runs off to the bathroom, and it’s just Henry and Shawn. Henry sways back and forth. “Hey, little guy,” he whispers, his blue eyes locked onto Shawn’s face – the way his eyes flutter closed, the little tiny button nose, the way he yawns. Henry licks his lips and blinks back tears. “I’m your daddy, and I love you so, so much.” He gently moves his arm so that he can press a kiss to Shawn’s forehead.

 

When Maddy comes back, he doesn’t want to give up his little boy.

 

**

 

Henry forgot what a good night’s sleep felt like. He didn’t even know it existed anymore. All he knows is that Shawn loves the morning hour of three am more than anything else, and he and Maddy alternate feeding time.

 

On this particular night, it’s Maddy’s turn to take care of Shawn at the 3 am call. She groans, throws back the covers, and plods across the bedroom to lift Shawn out of his crib. Henry cracks his eyes open and watches them carefully, just on the off chance she falls asleep while feeding him.

 

But Shawn doesn’t want the formula. He just keeps shrieking.

 

Henry groans and drapes his arm across his forehead. “Try burping him.”

 

Maddy glares at him in her sleep-deprived state. “What do you think my next guess was going to be?”

 

“Have you checked his diaper?”

 

_ “Yes, _ Henry.” She pats Shawn’s back and rocks the rocking chair back and forth. The motion is soothing, but Shawn won’t stop crying, and it’s clearly not a diaper, food, or vomit issue.

 

“Maybe he just wants to be held,” Henry suggests. He has work tomorrow, and he can’t walk in with a headache the size of Los Angeles.

 

Maddy moves Shawn to her hip, gets up, marches over to Henry’s side of the bed, and rips off the covers. “If I’m doing everything wrong, then why don’t  _ you  _ do it?”

 

Henry groans and props himself on his elbows, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Mad, I took care of him last time.”

 

Maddy shakes her head and puts out the baby for Henry to take. Henry sighs, sits up, and takes Shawn, holding him close to his heart. He’s willing to just sit here and hope for the best, but Maddy shakes her head again. “Uh-uh. You sit with him in the rocker, or you bounce him around or  _ something. _ I have a midterm tomorrow. I need my sleep.”

 

Henry rolls his eyes and stands up. He knows that he’s at just as much risk as Maddy of falling asleep in the rocker, so he just remains standing and sways back and forth with Shawn’s head on his shoulder. It still doesn’t do anything to calm Shawn down, so he finally decides that a lullaby can’t hurt.

 

With Shawn in his arms, Henry sways back and forth and sings, “Lullaby, and good night, with roses bestride / With lilies bedecked ‘neath Baby’s sweet bed / May thou sleep, may thou rest, may thy slumber be blest / May thou sleep, may thou rest, may thy slumber be blest…”

 

Shawn’s cries peter out, and he looks up at his father with wide eyes. Henry keeps singing, hoping that the sound of his voice will lull him to sleep.

 

Maddy, instead of going back to sleep, props herself up on one elbow and watches her husband sing to their son. He keeps his right hand on Shawn’s back and starts slowly moving around. The movement doesn’t bother Shawn; rather, it pacifies him, and the sound of his father’s voice starts dragging him back to sleep. He opens his mouth and yawns and places his little cheek on his father’s shoulder. Henry looks at him and smiles softly.

 

It takes three repeats of the parts that Henry knows before Shawn’s eyes are closed completely, and Henry sings the lullaby a couple more times just to be sure that Shawn is sleeping. Shawn’s breaths are steady – even with his tiny little lungs (Henry’s still amazed at how someone can possibly be  _ this _ little!) – and Henry can tell just by the look on his face that he’s drifted off to sleep. He carefully places Shawn back in his crib and pulls his blanket up to cover him, but he can’t find Shawn’s blankie. He purses his lips, looks around for it, and notices a piece of cloth lying on the ground on the farthest side from him or Maddy. Henry walks around the crib, picks it up, and holds up Shawn’s blankie for Maddy to see.

 

“It was his blankie,” Henry whispers, giving it a little shake. “It must have fallen out somehow.”

 

Maddy’s mouth falls open in understanding, and she nods. “That’s why nothing else worked. He just wanted his blankie.” She watches as Henry leans over the crib and tucks the baby blue blanket into Shawn’s little grasp.

 

Henry doesn’t get up right away. He just stays like that, in the most uncomfortable position he’s ever been in in his entire life, and he memorizes his son’s face. Shawn’s mouth is slightly open, and when he breathes, his little chest rises and falls. His nose isn’t as tiny as it was a month ago, but it’s still small. His fingers curl around the soft fabric of his blankie.

 

Henry would kill for Madeleine, but he’d do  _ anything _ for Shawn, including pushing Maddy into danger if it was the only way to protect him.

 

He reaches into the crib once last time and holds Shawn’s little hand. “Don’t grow up too fast, buddy,” he whispers. “Not too fast.”

 

He feels Maddy slip under his arm, and she hugs him, leaning into his side. “We’re going to blink, and he’s not going to be tiny anymore.”

 

Henry nods and stands up. He doesn’t want to go back to bed anymore. He just wants to be here, with his son. “I just wish it didn’t have to be that way, y’know?”

 

Maddy nods and kisses Henry’s shoulder. “I know what you mean.” She grabs his hand and gently leads him back to the bed. “He’ll be right there when you wake up in the morning. I promise.”

 

**

 

When Shawn is four months old, Henry gets his first official babysitting duty. I mean, sure, he’s taken care of Shawn on his own before, but that wasn’t ever for very long, and his parents usually took care of Shawn while Maddy was at school and Henry was at work. Now, however, his parents are on vacation in Canada, Maddy’s parents are all the way back in Ohio, Maddy needs to run errands, and Henry has the day off.

 

She presses a list of instructions into his free hand while Shawn is balanced on his other hip. Henry glances at the instructions (all of which he already knows how to do,  _ thank _ you very much) and raises one eyebrow at Maddy. “I’m not a babysitter,” he deadpans.

 

Maddy holds one of Shawn’s hands and kisses his cheek, ruffling his soft baby hair. “No, you are not,” she agrees, deciding that Shawn needs another kiss. She looks back at Henry. “You’re his father.”

 

Henry lifts his list and tries to push it back into her hands, but she glares at him, and he carefully pulls the list back. “I already know how to do this stuff.”

 

Maddy crosses her arms. “And I’m still the one who does most of it.”

 

“I  _ work!” _

 

“And I don’t? I’m still a student, Henry!”

 

Henry sighs and scratches his head with the hand holding the instructions. “I get that, Mad, I’m just saying that I’ve done all of these before. Shawn’s going to be just fine. I have your pager number if I need you, I know which stores you’re going to, I know how to change Shawn’s diaper and what to do if he throws up, I know the number for any emergencies that may arise is right by the phone, and I know how to feed Shawn. We’re going to be just fine.”

 

Maddy’s face softens, and she cups Henry’s neck with one hand and brings his face down to meet hers in a gentle kiss. Henry leans into the kiss, but they’re broken apart by Shawn smacking Maddy’s head with his sticky hand and accidentally tangling his hand in her hair.

 

Henry smiles at his wife as she carefully untangles her hair from Shawn’s sticky hand and presses another kiss to Shawn’s cheek before she rubs his baby hair again. “I love you both,” she says, looking at Henry. “And I can’t imagine what life would be like without you.”

 

Henry shrugs one shoulder and walks her to the door. “I suppose life would be a lot less interesting.”

 

Maddy walks out to her Fiat and spares them one last glance. She lifts her hand in a wave and backs out of the driveway. Henry lifts Shawn’s hand and waves bye-bye to her.

 

When Maddy is officially gone and Henry is officially in charge without his wife or parents watching him closely, he takes a look around the house and decides that the best course of action is to find some way for Shawn to nap. He glances around, checking over his shoulder to make double-plus sure that Maddy’s not here, and glances at the list.

 

Shawn’s nap time is in an hour and a half. Maddy comes back in approximately two. That means that Henry has to feed and entertain his son for an hour and a half.

 

He sighs and walks over to the couch, picking up one of the baby books on the way. Shawn looks up at him with his hazel eyes, and Henry purses his lips. “You’re right,” he says, carefully placing the book on the coffee table, “that’s going to knock you out like a light.” He rolls out the baby mat and places Shawn in the middle of it. “I guess it’s tummy time.” He kneels in front of Shawn and holds up Shawn’s favorite toy (it’s a green beanie snake. A green beanie snake. Henry could’ve just rigged up one of his old – preferably clean – socks to be this exact thing, but  _ no, _ they had to pay money for this thing because Shawn fell in love with it. What does that mean for his adulthood?). “Hey, Shawn, look! It’s your favorite toy!”

 

Shawn lifts his head and rocks back and forth for a little bit, reaching up with his chubby little hand to grab at the snake.

 

It’s important to note that Shawn is not a fan of tummy time. He tries to crawl, but for some reason, his brain can’t connect the dots as to how to crawl. So, instead of tummy time, Shawn decides that it’s “learn how to crawl” time.

 

Shawn rocks back and forth a little bit more and places his hand in front of his body, far enough away for it to be uncomfortable unless he moves his body to meet his hand. Shawn stares at his hand for a moment and then looks back up at his father.

 

Henry knows it’s no use trying to get him to stick to tummy time. He sighs, gets on all fours, and mirrors Shawn’s position. “Okay, Shawn, I’ll show you how to crawl  _ only _ if you promise to do some more tummy time later.” Henry leans closer and glances around furtively. “Your mother will bite my head off if she knows that I helped you skip tummy time.”

 

Shawn opens his mouth and giggles, his eyes full of delight.

 

Henry looks at Shawn through his eyelashes. “You have no idea what I just said, do you?” He sighs. “Alright then.” He makes sure Shawn’s watching him and lifts his leg slightly above the ground to meet his hand, stopping to see if Shawn will imitate his movements.

 

Shawn concentrates hard and moves his leg forward after a moment or two of thinking about it.

 

A grin spreads across Henry’s face. “Good, Shawn, good!” He moves his other hand forward and waits for Shawn to imitate him again, and once Shawn does, Henry moves his leg so that his hands and knees are evenly apart. Shawn does the same thing, looks up at Henry, and giggles again.

 

Henry spends half of the rest of the so-called “tummy time” teaching Shawn how to crawl and the other half actually trying to keep Shawn still enough to actually  _ do _ tummy time.

 

He shakes his head when Shawn tries to take off again and laughs. “This is gonna bite me in the ass, isn’t it?”

 

Shawn just grins at him.

 

**

 

When Maddy gets home after two hours of shopping, she carefully unloads the groceries, not even realizing that Henry’s not rushing to help her. She assumes he’s in the bathroom or something, so she unloads the rest of the bags and sets out to go looking for him.

 

She steps into the living room, and on the couch, with a baseball game playing in the background, is Henry. Shawn lies on his chest, and he moves with every breath Henry takes. Henry has one hand on Shawn’s back, and his eyes are closed.

 

Maddy retreats to the kitchen, grabs her new disposable camera, and sneaks back into the living room. She smiles one last time at the sight, lifts the camera, and takes the picture.

 

And if she cried a little bit at the sight of the two people she loves most in the world taking a nap together? Well, she won’t tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :):):) I have a perfect angst fic idea, and I am running with it, but first: do I write a Star Trek au (like Psych in the Trek universe) or an au of "An Evening With Mr. Yang," but instead of Shawn being the person going head-to-head with Yang, it's Henry? Like, I'm writing both, but which do I write first?
> 
> As always, reviews are always appreciated!!

**Author's Note:**

> Like it, love it, hate it? Leave a comment below or go to my tumblr, @ my-glasses-are-dirty, and tell me what you think!


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